To the one and only one

In life, different period of your life, you may like different things. Our brain evolved just like the earth. Sometime my friend asked me which type of girl do I go for; I can’t find an absolute answers to it. Not sure if this theory works; if our brain evolves like the earth, our liking changes over time, while my love for you remain constant, do you think I will ever stand a chance?

I am very afraid to go into any relationship now, cos I don’t know if anyone can replaced you in my heart. I know what true love is, but I always acted as if I don’t know. In my past relationship, I pretended as if I don’t know how to love. I didn’t give my best, cos I did not wish to hurt anyone, I didn't want to pretend to be a great lover only to give up in the end. Then why started it when I knew we wasn’t meant to be to begin with? I thought I could forget about you. Over the years, you were constantly inside my heart. I didn’t know why I waited for so many years before I picked up the courage to call you again and asked for your facebook account.

I must be out of my mind to pursue an impossible dream. I just want to focus on my studies now. I will never try to get anyone to replace you again; everyone is unique. If I ever fall in love again, I will make sure that I give all my love without any reservation. You have been my sincere friend, I know you never wanted be to be like this. Perhaps we were never meant to be together, I am learning how to let go. Nevertheless, you left a very deep footprint in my heart. I wanted to tell you that I am more than happy to be your friend. I am proud of you and I will never abandon this friendship again, no matter what. I want to be someone who is truly sincere to you. I will pray to whatever god exists that whenever you faced with any problem, you can resolve it easily.

I have just received her art work today. I like it very much and I have framed it. I will always cherish all her work and things. This picture was drawn by Rheea Zhang. Life is not always full of bed and roses, but whenever I see this picture, I will tell myself that no matter how tough the journey is ahead of me, I will never give up.

I have a contradictory personality. I am a very determined person who never gives up my dreams easily. She is my dream, yet I gave her up 10 years ago. I was rejected by her back then, but at least we talked to each other very often. That was the happiest moment in my life. When she said that we can only be friend, I was very hurt then. The wound left a very deep scar. After so many years, I really wish to talk to her again. Our mind set has changed a lot. Now, she is into Metaphysics and art while I am into Psychology and Finance, we have grown up, everything has changed, but my love for her has never changed. After that rejection, I never pick up the courage to even think that she will be my girlfriend one day. There are many Knights in the shinning amour waiting to win the princess's heart, I am just a little soldier leading a very normal life. However, this soldier will be the most loyal guy to her. If she ever faced any danger moment, this soldier will put her safety before his life. If all the knights ever abandon her, he will always stay by the princess's side, even as her salves, he has no complaint.

My heart has cried many times for you, only you let me feel that my heart is still alive. I know right from the start, falling in love with you, is like building a prison for my heart to stay inside. I can never break free from this cell yet I can never be with you. It is like pursuing a destination that you knew right from the start, it never existed.