A wonderful Sister

I have got a wonderful sister, although she is not my biological sister. She gotten a good and pure heart. I just do not understand why many people did not realize this hidden gem.

Often, we can have a heart to heart talk, and we shared the same frequency. In this era, it is difficult to find a genuine friend, let alone a great friend of opposite gender. No matter how busy I am, I will always keep this friendship in mind. We can talk about everything under the sun, and she gave very good advice. Sometime, she asked me questions that left me thinking for days. For example, she asked me why do I gets another girlfriend when I am in love with someone else. Actually, I do not have an answer. I guess I knew I never stand a single chance and I don’t wish to pursue anything for the fear of losing it. I am a guy with low self-esteem, I knew that some things can only be kept and buried deep inside my heart. I also knew she gotten quite a few suitors, and I guess I was never in the race.

Although I knew she is the one, but life has always been unkind to me when it comes to relationship. Having said that, I must learn to cherish the next girl that comes by my life. Actually, love may not necessary to be the only things in my life. I should look at kinship, friendship and many more. I treat my god sister as my best friend, just like my next of kin.

A friendship that is so pure is hard to come by. I know that we will never hurt each other.. Maybe she is the next best thing god can give me.

3 August to 10 August update

Last week was a very hectic week for me. Last Tuesday, I went to NUS to audit the Volatility classes. The lecture was supposed to be for year 2 students, and I guess for that reason, I didn’t really understand much except that standard deviation isn’t a good tool to measure risk since the assumption is only for normal distribution’s data.

I attended VBA programming last Wednesday till Friday (From 9am-5pm). It was no easy for me to follow, as I have no much programming knowledge, I just tried to pick up as much as I could. On Saturday, I attended bridging classes for my course on Mathlab programming.

Finally, Sunday is funday (8th August). I went out to the song beach at Sentosa with a friend. That day was very windy. As I was enjoying the sea breeze, I thought of her again. I was wondering if she is adapting well in Japan.

At least I got to see her blogs update and there were many great news and I hope she managed to sleep well. I guess it wasn’t easy to squeeze with so many people in a room. How I wish I could attend such events and courses too!

On Monday, 9thAnugust, it was a national day. I was searching for my recovery disc to reboot my laptop. It took me several hours before I finally found it. While searching for my recovery disc, I found the bookmark she gave me 10 years ago. These two things are the only things she ever gave me and they are also the most important things in my life.

On Tuesday, I had a badminton session with my old time friend, Diwei. We played from 8am to 10am at Tampines court. We played four games and I lost to him. It feels great to catch up with old time friend; he is really a nice guy.

My first VBA Programming Class

Super tiring and super loss. I am learning how to writing a program, so many things to learn in life.

Finally another post from her

I have got a very hectic schedule lately. I attended my first lesson in NUS for Volatility. Actually, I haven signed for the course, so it should be considered auditing the class. After the lesson, I realized that now I am learning finance. In the past, I thought Standard Deviation was a great tool in calculating volatility, but I was wrong. It was a useless tool since we cannot get a normal distribution data most of the time.

I reached home at about 11.15pm. After that, I played Othello with my god sister. She asked me to be her god brother, and I accepted it without hesitation. She is a nice person with a good heart. Guess I am officially her god brother on 3 August.

Well, there was this girl that I have been missing throughout my life. I finally got the chance to read another of her blog, her MIA blog. I feel so happy that she is able to see the world, and she is in Japan now. I will be praying that she is safe and sound. She does not know I still like her after 10 years and she does not read my blog. If I can, I would rather give up everything in my life to be with her seeing all parts of the world.

My first piano lesson

My first piano lesson was quite interesting; the teacher was very nice and patient towards me. After the piano lesson, I went to get myself a piano, which the school was very quick in delivery the piano to my place and I am grateful for that.

I know that the road ahead will be very tough and challenging, but no matter what, there is no turning back. There are so many things I want to do for you, even if it won't mean a thing to you, I will not regret. You are so special, so different. Only you know what is true love. I just wanna be your friend, let me stay by your side, walking through the storm with you, be your guidance angel. I promised you that I wouldn’t ask anything more than that.

I wanna be your angel

I wish I can be your moth angel to stay by your side and I wish I could melt away the cool silence of your solitude. Never mind if I cannot be your knight in shining armor or your charming prince.

If you are ever trapped in a dark tunnel, I will be a firefly to provide you with the light so that you can walk out of your darkness. Even if I have to exhaust all my energy or my limited life, I have no second thoughts to do it for you.

I wish I could show you that love can be very beautiful, even if I have to use all my life to show you, I will. I guess we are all passionate, just that we haven met the right person for us to change, for us to sacrifice and do something for them.

Sometime, love is not told, is not felt. Just like a mute and deaf couple, their love for their mate can be manifested through their telepathy communication.

If you have expectation for love, you do not have loved deep enough. Love is in search of dreams together being rich or poverty.

Many people do crazy things for love, is that love or simply being foolish? How are we to judge if we were never there? It is hard to find people who really know what love is. Love is not meant to be selfish, and you do not go into it just because you are lonely or you wish to experience love, cos you can hurt the one who really loves you. Love, is not just about companionship, is it when two souls united, you cannot separate them apart. Till death, they will never be separated.

My religion

My religion

I have gotten a religion now, I shall have faith in it, I shall never trade it for anything, I will lay my life for my belief. Yes, that’s love. I believe in love. No matter how long it going to take, I will be right there waiting for my angel to appear.

We always have so many checklists about the idea person to love, so if one day, we realize that our soul mates are no longer as pretty as before, no longer as smart as before, will we still stick on to this love?

Everybody needs a religion to help him or her spiritually, and I need to love. I am not desperate for love, but I am seeking for true love.No matter how many years I am going to wait, I will wait for her love patiently. There are so many things I want to do for the angel I love. Love will not fade off as times goes by. No matter where she is, I shall be devoted to my angel. I once thought that true love story only appears in fairy tale story, but there is true love. When you realize that you love her more than yourself, when you realize that her happiness is all that you ever want, you have truly fallen in love. When you realize that you just wanna kept showering her your love without being calculative, you know she is the one.